From the LADY

Its a common phenomenon for people about to celebrate their birthdays to be melancholic as they contemplate on the thought of another year about to end and another about to begin. Some may not be as dramatic as i am and some may not even care about the big deal in that one special day in their lives but I’m sure that at one point or another before or after that special day - doesn’t really matter - they paused from their routine and thought of how time seemed to move quicker than they have imagined.

Its my turn. I have been down for the past several days and i have been thinking of a couple of things. I am trying to recall how i celebrated my birthday last year and I remembered I had to go to a boring meeting and spend the rest of the day strolling in a mall, alone. This year, it will be quite different. I am still going to be at work but its also going to be my first day to receive live calls from aussies. i dont know what to expect yet.

I have been sad for quite some time because I miss my mom. Tears never fail to run down my cheeks as i think of how life would have been much more bearable had she been here. i keep on imagining what would my mom prepare for me on my birthday. By now, we could have been on our 8th day of novena for my birthday. She could have invited her friends to celebrate with us. When i get home from work , I would have someone who will eagerly listen to my funny stories and booboos on the floor while taking in calls. But she is not here. And she never will be. For the rest of my life, i will always wonder how each and everyday would begin and end with my mom by my side.

My birthday would have been a lot nicer and warmer if my mom was alive. Especially now that I have so many things that I want to ask her. Especially now that things are not going good between me and my dad. Especially now that I am very much uncertain of my future. A mom’s hug would really make a big difference.

Ma, happy birthday ko na.